This morning, I was in a lengthy phone conversation with a dear friend. During our visit, I felt compelled to write about several items we were discussing. She told me to write them down. I did not. When I got off the phone, my sick daughter (who is missing school today) tells me that I was on the phone all morning. Yep! I told her I had been talking to that friend for one hour and 30 minutes. I shut out the world, although I answered children's questions when they asked, but for the most part, made it about my friend and I. It was a motivating and uplifting conversation and just what I needed at the end of a difficult week. Within minutes of hanging up, I had forgotten I was supposed to write those items down, of course. Ha!
There was a time in my years of motherhood that taking this time to talk on the phone would have brought forward an emotion of guilt: guilt that I was taking time for me, guilt that I was not ministering to my children, guilt that I was not cleaning, or cooking, or mending something, guilt for...anything. I would have spent the rest of the day beating myself up for not being more productive with my time. I would have apologized the moment my husband walked in the door after work for not having done something better. That would have happened.... once upon a time.
It has taken me many years to understand something about myself. In fact, this discovery is only in the past year as I have gone through a serious emotional transformation. The something that I have learned is: I am worth that time! I am enough! (I will talk more on the idea of"enough" another day.) There is nothing to be guilty for! In fact, we, as mothers, need that time on the phone! We need that break! It is how we keep our sanity!
There is a beloved pioneer woman that I have come to know and love through studying her life. Years ago, I learned that as a mother raising several young children, she often had a mother's helper (aka nanny, or hired help) to keep her home going. What an idea! Why is it that we, as women as a whole, beat ourselves up to be perfect? Why is it that we do not allow ourselves to go without makeup, wear comfy clothes instead of fancy ones, or have a messy (aka: lived in) home? We do not have to follow the handful of women in Pinterest that seem to "have it together"? If you need extra hands, seek them out! There is nothing wrong with asking for some help. If you do not sew your curtains or make your vintage wall hangings, then don't! Find other ways to let your light shine! We do not all have to be the same.
Let me ask you- when you decorate your home, or clean it, or bake cookies... are you doing it because you love to, want to, or feel like you have to "just in case" someone stops by? Be honest. You should be doing it for you, not to impress them! I make curtains and pillows because I love to! I make bread because I enjoy it (and it saves me money). I organize the way I do because it is what works for me. We do not have to follow all that we see on social media. When all is said and done, do what you can, the best you can (not the best they can) and it IS enough! No guilt! Just joy!
Joyfully living-
Mama Dragon
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