Tears of Sweet Release

I did it! I finally got a good cry out! It was because of the beautiful music of the Bells at Temple Square concert last night. They were PHENOMINAL!! We laughed. We were entertained. Then.... they played "You Raise Me Up" and... I cried. As a steady stream of tears flowed down my face, I felt Heaven's love wrap her arms tightly around me, as if to say, "We know you are here. We are aware of your pain. We love you." It was incredibly healing. 

After a really great conversation with my friend who invited me, and as I sit here listening to my eldest play the piano, I have realized something very profound to my life. The tears I need to shed in order to keep my emotions balanced will often come through music. That is my language I communicate with to the heavens. 

I was burnt out because for a long time everything in my life was music. Everything... church obligations, personal activities, work.... so I took a big step back. It consumed my life to an unhealthy degree. Then, I became a bit confused as to who I was, because I had let go of all the music. I am nothing without music. It is my heart and soul. I just need to find the balance of it in my life. I need to allow it to bring me comfort and peace.... and I need to allow myself to cry tears of sweet release. 

Beautifully releasing-
Mama Dragon

Feeling Funky

My eldest ofen reminds me that I am the only one who still uses words from the '80s such as "rad" or "funky." I let him know that I simply do not care who uses them. >wink< That being said, I have been in a bit of a funk the past few days. Yesterday, I realized the amount of grief and stress my life has seen over the past 9 weeks and I felt the need to cry... but I couldn't. I put on sad movies, no tears. I heard about a tragic car accident.... no tears, only sadness. It is unlike me to hold my tears in. What is going on??

I figured it out. I just am in a funk. That's all. Not good, not bad, but just is. We all get a little funky now and then. That is the point we need to take a step back, take some deep breaths, and just let life be for a moment so we can restore our senses once again.

It's alright to be a little funky now and again, as long as it does not destroy your life or take you from accomplishing your tasks. As for now, just let me cry (if the tears will come).

Leaving a Legacy

The past few minutes have been spent scrolling through snapshots I took at my uncle's funeral. Some of them will be edited later on to include in my own personal history. As I looked at the faces and gestures of love shared, I began to wonder how I will be remembered when I leave this mortal world. This is not the first I have thought this, as I have survived a failing heart and am now doing well. When someone dies, it is a time for re-evaluating one's life. What will the world say about me? Will anyone remember the contributions I have made? Will I have done anything important to build God's Kingdom on Earth? The pictures I am sharing bring forth these kinds of thoughts of the legacy I know my uncle has left behind, one that I hope to grow from. 

Elder L. Tom Perry was a Marine. At the end of WWII, he was one of the first occupation troops to enter Japan. This picture of them relaxing was taken after the honorable service these young men provided at the graveside. The playing of "Taps" moved many of us to tears. The final salute to my Aunt Barbara took my breath away. 

During the photo sessions, I looked up to see this lovely sight. Look carefully. Each Marine is placing his hand on his neighbor's shoulder, I imagine to signify unity and brotherhood. They offered a moment of silence to this beloved man. It was incredibly moving.

I learned that Alex Boye' is my relative. >wink< When I saw him in the family seating at the funeral services, I expressed gratitude for his support. He told me that my uncle was the one who sealed Alex and his wife in the temple, so that made us all family. This is a photo of my "cousin" and I at the graveside. 

Alex and the Marines had a few joyful minutes together. I am sure Uncle Tom was smiling at the happy memories being made in his honor. 

One sight that touched me at the viewing and the graveside was that of the flowers. Each Church Auxiliary send flowers to the family. How beautiful! 

After the burial, I went to get my car at Temple Square. Two casually dressed gentlemen were facing this flag across the grounds from them. As I passed by, I overheard one saying ".... it was an Elder Perry or something that passed away. Apparently he was a leader of some kind in their church." I paused, turned, and walked over to them. I smiled kindly at them for their curious respects they were paying. I explained I overheard them and I just just come from the funeral of the man they were discussing. Very respectfully, one man asked, "Who was he" to which I replied, "His name was L. Tom Perry and he was my uncle." They explained they were tourists and had inquired to someone why the flags were being flown at half mast. Until then, I had not even noticed. All of the flags on Temple Square were flown at half mast! How lovely! One man asked, "He was a leader in your local church here?" Suppressing a chuckle, I smiled and replied, "Yes, he was an elder, and one of head leaders in this worldwide church and he was a very good man." They offered their condolences, which I accepted, and I left, pausing to take this picture. I absolutely love that Elder Perry's legacy was already reaching people, so quickly after his passing. 

When I leave this frail existence, when I lay this mortal by
Father, Mother, may I meet You in Your royal courts on high?
[Oh My Father, by Eliza R. Snow]

I know that when I leave this frail existence, I hope people know that I had striven to live the best life I could. I want them to know that I loved serving others because it made me happy, and brought me closer to the Savior, not just because it was expected of me. I want my posterity to know that I was grateful for the gifts God blessed me with and I desired to use them for the building of His Kingdom on Earth. Most of all, I hope to be remembered for my testimony of Jesus Christ, that through His Atonement, we can find everlasting peace, that through Him we can be saved, and by His grace, and the covenants we make in the Temple, families CAN be together- forever! How grateful I am to have personally known someone to live an exemplary life! May we all strive to become more like the One perfect man to walk this earth- even Jesus Christ. 

Living a Legacy-
Mama Dragon

Parenting is Like Pancake Toppings

Parenting our children is as similar as how we all eat our pancakes. These pancakes- or methods of parenting- is what I have observed in my own life. No two pancakes are the same, yet some are definitely better than others. 

simplygluten-free.com

Some parenting is like an overload of syrup- sticky and sweet, giving children everything they want with a "Yes, Sweetheart" attached; the child having a tantrum until they get what they want. Upon observation, these parents seem to be more focused on keeping a smile (albeit fake) attached to their lips, rather then learning to say "No" to their children, because they do not want to disappoint. These parents burn out rather quickly and tire easily because they are simply exhausted. 

Other parenting is like whipping cream- light and fluffy. These parents do not put their whole heart and soul into molding their children into become productive members of society. They fill the time with a comments such as "sure" or "uh-huh" while the parent is on their electronic device, not really paying attention. The children know the right moment to ask their parent a question such as "May I go to a party with Liz?" or "Can I go see a movie with Jake?" because they know the parent is not really listening and will not drill them on more details. When they find out the party was one full of drinking or the movie was worse than an R-rated, the parents find the child to be at fault. 

There are parenting methods that are similar to the fruity topping on pancakes. These are the parents who are in no way prepared to have children. Not being willing to learn from their grandmother or mother, these parents refuse to read a parenting book, or take a class because they know it all- or so they think. This method of parenting can be very harmful to their children because they may not know the right way to nurture the teething baby, encourage a child to read, or feed children healthy portions of food. Because they refuse to listen to anyone else, the children may be the ones to suffer. 

The seemingly healthiest parenting I have observed are like the pancakes with butter, syrup, and maybe a few bits of fried egg or bacon crumbled on top of the pancakes. Some may like all of the toppings, others may think it is too much. However, this parent is trying to find the perfect balance for their family. These are the ones that seem to raise up their children to be healthy and happy. These are the parents that are willing to admit to their mistakes, and work hard to do better next time. The kids may even rebel a bit, but deep down they always know they are loved and wanted. They follow their dreams, fulfill their passions, and raise up their own successful families. Success does not mean they have a big home and fancy cars. It simply means that they have taken the best of what was inside of them, nurturing, providing, and loving their kids into a healthy place in their own lives. 

Although there are no two exact same methods of parenting, there are a few key ideas to remember. 

1- It's alright to say no. Children do not need everything they want. Parents provide for their needs. Then, give them opportunities to earn the wants through extra chores, yardwork, etc. 

2- We cannot afford it is not a swear word. It is a reasonable response when it is truth. It teaches kids that they can earn and save up for something they really want, such as a new bike, or a trip to Disneyland. It also encourages living within your means. 

3- Spend time on memories, not things. When your kids are gown, do you want them telling their children stories of how "Dad was too busy playing on his phone to take me shopping for school supplies, and no we didn't go for ice cream afterward like he promised, but he got me this new video game, so I just played that for hours every Saturday." 

4- It's ok to be wrong..... and admit it. When I am wrong, I admit it, not just apologizing to my children, but showing them through deed as well that I am striving to not make the mistake again. I work really hard to not be snarky in my responses to them and they learn that I am still learning as well. 

5- Ask for help! Whether you are a first-time mother, or a 8th- time father, each child is different and you may need an extra helping hand to raise them. This is acceptable!! If you are in the early years of parenting, find a young lady in the neighborhood and hire her as a mother's helper. If your child is a teen and has a tendency to be wayward, help them find a mentor outside the home. They may just need to talk and do not always feel comfortable sharing with their parents. Having outside help is not wrong, it's a resource!

6- When we respect our children, they respect us./Teach by example. This is key to successful parenting. If I want my children to knock on my bedroom door before entering, I need to show them the same respect on their bedroom doors. If I want them to play less on their i-pad and be more outside, I need to get off my laptop and grab a frisbee, inviting them to join me in a game. 

Children desire to be taught by us. They watch us, observing and copying how we handle life. How will you teach them? What kind of pancake topping will you be? 

Finding the balance-
Mama Dragon

Tears of Frustration, Tears of Peace

Today, I wanted to cry. In fact, I did cry! In our Primary Congregation, we have nearly 200 kids. They are divided up into to groups: Junior and Senior Primary. Like the other choristers around the world, I had this beautiful plan in place to read a quote by my uncle, Elder L. Tom Perry, about singing a song from the top of our lungs. I finished up our regular song practice with our younger kids and pulled out pictures of a man many recognized, Elder Perry. Regardless of how I tried, the talking would not stop. There were kids climbing over kids, kids playing with their neighbor, kids practicing dance moves.... none of us adults could get them to calm down! Over 50 kids ages 3-6 and they were.... exhausting!! I was working hard to make the moment special, to tell them from a personal point of view how it felt to know this man on a personal level, and nothing worked. Teachers were practically sitting on their students to get them to settle down. We had done everything up to this point, including wiggle songs, whispering, talking loudly, having them stand to sing... 

NOTHING. WORKED. Trying to get through my assigned time, I hastily finished my lesson, telling the next teacher (a member of our bishopric, or a clergyman), "Good luck,"collected my teaching items, then returned to my seat. Things did not go much better for him, as all of the children (who usually are very well behaved) decided that today was the day they would be, well.... kids! (What are they thinking?!) >wink<

While the room was switching to the older kids (ages 7-11), I stood at the piano, my back turned to everyone, and closed my eyes. As I fought tears of frustration, I offered up a prayer that went something like this: Oh Uncle Tom, I am so sorry! This was supposed to be a special tribute for you, and it turned into a hot mess. I have let you down. I am so very sorry. 

As soon as I thought those words, I felt his response of laughing. Laughing! Of all the nerve, why would he laugh at me when I was trying so hard to do something for him?! I felt a whisper from heaven tell me: Young Lady, >laugh< they are kids! Enjoy them! 

Well! I'll tell you what I did! I.... sighed. He was right. They were little kids and probably busting at the seams with the break of rainy weather and beautiful sun shining. I would be too! 

As I turned to welcome the older kids with a song, they immediately settled in their chairs, becoming reverent. All of us leaders were ever so grateful. one of them quickly commented that they were a breath of fresh air. When it was time to pay tribute, these children listened wholeheartedly as I shared stories of my relationship with someone incredibly special. I bore witness that as we sang, the Holy Ghost would let them know if the message of the song held eternal truths, as my uncle taught. It was beautiful and moving as they did indeed sing "from the top of their lungs with enthusiasm." How I rejoiced in that moment in knowing that he could hear us from heaven.

I did not video these students of mine, but other choristers around the world recorded their primaries. One local Portuguese Branch song leader sent me a video of his children singing in their native language. I was moved to tears as these children paid tribute to such a revered man. What a kind service! How grateful I am to be part of such an organization that teaches truths such as "Families can be together forever." How grateful I am for this message being my uncle's legacy. 

Singing with enthusiasm, 

Mama Dragon