Joyfully Living.... Guilt Free

This morning, I was in a lengthy phone conversation with a dear friend. During our visit, I felt compelled to write about several items we were discussing. She told me to write them down. I did not. When I got off the phone, my sick daughter (who is missing school today) tells me that I was on the phone all morning. Yep! I told her I had been talking to that friend for one hour and 30 minutes. I shut out the world, although I answered children's questions when they asked, but for the most part, made it about my friend and I. It was a motivating and uplifting conversation and just what I needed at the end of a difficult week. Within minutes of hanging up, I had forgotten I was supposed to write those items down, of course. Ha! 

There was a time in my years of motherhood that taking this time to talk on the phone would have brought forward an emotion of guilt: guilt that I was taking time for me, guilt that I was not ministering to my children, guilt that I was not cleaning, or cooking, or mending something, guilt for...anything. I would have spent the rest of the day beating myself up for not being more productive with my time. I would have apologized the moment my husband walked in the door after work for not having done something better. That would have happened.... once upon a time. 

It has taken me many years to understand something about myself. In fact, this discovery is only in the past year as I have gone through a serious emotional transformation. The something that I have learned is: I am worth that time! I am enough! (I will talk more on the idea of"enough" another day.) There is nothing to be guilty for! In fact, we, as mothers, need that time on the phone! We need that break! It is how we keep our sanity! 

There is a beloved pioneer woman that I have come to know and love through studying her life. Years ago, I learned that as a mother raising several young children, she often had a mother's helper (aka nanny, or hired help) to keep her home going. What an idea! Why is it that we, as women as a whole, beat ourselves up to be perfect? Why is it that we do not allow ourselves to go without makeup, wear comfy clothes instead of fancy ones, or have a messy (aka: lived in) home? We do not have to follow the handful of women in Pinterest that seem to "have it together"? If you need extra hands, seek them out! There is nothing wrong with asking for some help. If you do not sew your curtains or make your vintage wall hangings, then don't! Find other ways to let your light shine! We do not all have to be the same. 

Let me ask you- when you decorate your home, or clean it, or bake cookies... are you doing it because you love to, want to, or feel like you have to "just in case" someone stops by? Be honest. You should be doing it for you, not to impress them! I make curtains and pillows because I love to! I make bread because I enjoy it (and it saves me money). I organize the way I do because it is what works for me. We do not have to follow all that we see on social media. When all is said and done, do what you can, the best you can (not the best they can) and it IS enough! No guilt! Just joy! 

Joyfully living- 

Mama Dragon

To My Friend- Whose Heart Belongs to God

Dearest K,

     At first I thought it was a fluke, feeling the promptings of writing such a personal letter on my blog. I thought to myself: Why in the world would the Lord have me do that?!  Then I realized that this letter is not just from me to you, but perhaps it is to anyone who is moving on in their lives. Maybe it is from another friend or family member who also battled these feelings as you gained strength and found light again after S's death. You have used yours and S's story as a way to help others. This public, yet personal, letter seems to cry out to do the same. Use me, it pleads. Allow me to touch another soul. So, I do. Now I find myself sitting down to write and the words flow like a brook, winding its way through the forest, just as these thoughts find their way from my heart to yours. 

I remember when I first met you. M and S were great friends from their growing up years and we all ended up in the same church congregation together. There you were, sitting in the class that would encourage us to be friends. You had your short hair, spiky in the back, while sporting your stylish glasses. Who is this new sister? She is adorable. She is probably way to cool for me. We could never be friends. I reached over the chairs (or did I sit next to you?), extended my hand and said, "Hi! I'm Jen! Are you new or visiting?" With the best smile you could offer (in what I later found out was a very nervous moment for you), you responded with your name and you were new. I asked if we could be friends. You laughed and said yes and the rest is history. It makes me laugh to know that it was years later we found out how terrified we both were. 

Over the years, our paths have taken our families separate ways, both moving to various states for work or school. Then Facebook came into our lives and we reconnected, until you left that for a time. When I tracked you down later, I was elated that we would both be back in AZ at the same time to visit. Yet, there was no time during that busy holiday season to connect. "Next time we're both in town, we'll all get together," you reassured me. Little did we know, there would not be another next time.

Shortly after, you were diagnosed with a terrible dis-ease that nearly took your life. All I could do was pray for you. I had no money to offer for treatments. I could not come hold your hand in another state. I could not tend your children. All I could do was pray.  During that same time that you were battling cancer, I was battling my own illness with my heart. I knew that somehow, even though we rarely talked, we understood each other's struggles. I had my surgery and when you got a clean bill of health, I praised God for saving my dear, darling friend. 

Two months after I experienced a miracle and the doctors were able to correct my heart issue, the devastating news came: Your darling S, my husband's best friend, passed away suddenly... from a heart attack. Oh, the ironies! Oh the cruelty! You survived and he was taken. My heart that had been failing for years was mended and his heart (that you did not know was struggling) suddenly stopped working. There was a guilt there that brought my rejoicing to a halt and for months M and I grieved over the loss of our dear, wonderful friend. 

When I least expected it, tears would fall and the "next time we're both in town..." would come to mind. I followed your life (hooray for social media stalking) and sent you my love. I have prayed for angels to buoy up you and those darling boys who missed their coach and hero- their dad. 

Then, one day, God took your broken heart and found a way to mend it. He helped you find grace in the darkest of nights through your three heroes- your boys. He brought light into your life by an amazing, supportive community, work associates, and parents (both yours and S's) who continued to carry you when you could not stand anymore. He brought you joy through a new little friend named Gus. Most of all, God allowed the Atonement of Jesus Christ to ease the sadness and despair and turn it into a place of beauty and healing. One day, God lead you to a place that most mortals do not have the opportunity to be... He lead you to another chance at love. 

My dear friend, the first time you shared a date with E on social media, my heart leapt and I knew it was he who would complete you once again. I know that when S left this world, he took a huge part of you with him. God, in all His goodness, took that hole in your heart, and found another man not to be "second best" or for you to "settle for" but to fill that hole with happiness, light, laughter (which is such a huge part of you) and most of all hope! God heard your tender pleas and knew that your boys needed a father, one who would love them as much as S, and one that would adore you and cherish you as you deserve. You so deserve to be cherished! 

The day of your wedding, I asked angels to carry my thoughts and love to you. I wanted to see you happy, but at the same time, my heart was broken. I so wanted to accept E in your life but did not want to let go of S. He was a strength and guiding force to so many. How could we move on? How could you move on? I called my sister and cried. I was torn on how to best support you. She shared great insight with me, that during your time of illness, surely you and S talked about what would happen if you were the one to leave this life behind. She shared that she knew S was supportive of your choice, that maybe he had a hand in leading you and E to each other. 

I prayed more, and came to acceptance through this thought: Your heart belongs to God. That is how you live your life- to follow Him. In doing so, He will place in your life the exact people you need at the exact moment you need them. At this time, you and your boys needed E, and he needed you so God allowed your hearts to be united in holiness and love. 

To E, I say: thank you for loving my friend so completely. I look forward to one day meeting the man who stole her heart. To my beautiful friend, My K, who has carried me through the years, let me say this: I love you. I support you. I am cheering you and E on. M and I will always miss our friend, but we know he is where he needs to be, watching over you and your sons. What a blessing to have a guardian angel that has loved you so perfectly! What a miracle to find love again in this life! Go forward with a perfect brightness of hope, my incredible friend. For when your heart truly belongs to God, there is so much joy to behold. 

Love you forever, 

Jen (aka Mama Dragon)

Chicken, Chicken: Who's Got the Chicken?

As I prepared to type this post, the title came to mind. It is reminiscent of childhood games. Of course, thinking of childhood leads me to think of favorite foods. One of my favorites is chicken noodle soup. Well, it is one of my favorites now that I have mastered it on my own. Of course the most important ingredient is: chicken! For today, let's talk about how to make a dollar stretch in preparation of chicken dishes. Stretching our dollars is a way to guard the light of our homes. (When I am careful about where I spend my money, I feel better about not letting it go to waste.)

When I shop, I am a frugal shopper. This means to find the best bargains for the least amount of money. Sometimes, that takes planning. Other times, you are blessed to stumble across great deals. This was the case last week when I found 10 lbs. of frozen chicken leg quarters for $4.50 total! That was only 45 cents per pound!! Although I wished we had room in our freezer for more, we grabbed one bag. I put it in the fridge to defrost it a bit, then the next day put it in the crockpot. Just dump it in, even frozen. There is no need to add any water, unless you want a broth (which I will share later in this post.)

Cooking in the crockpot

Because there was too much chicken for my 7-quart crockpot, I put a few pieces on the stove, added 1/2 cup of water, covered, and simmered on med-low for several hours. Once the chicken was cooked, I put it on a plate to cool. Then, I took off the skin and took out the bones. A nice benefit to cooking it in the CP for several hours is usually you can just pull the bones right out and the meat falls right off. 

Cooked chicken

After taking the meat off the bones, I put the bones back in the pan, covered with water, and let it simmer for another hour or so. 

Making bone broth

Bone broth has many health benefits so I did not want to miss out on this opportunity to make something so delicious and for practically nothing. 

When that was done simmering, I removed the bones and am left with more than 2 quarts of chicken bone broth. At this point, let it cool and store in the fridge, or freeze it in a freezer bag or freezer bowl, or can it with a pressure canner. Any way you store it, make sure you enjoy it! Now you have delicious meat and broth for several upcoming meals. [Note: I ended up with 10 cups of shredded chicken plus 3 quarts of bone broth. Yum!]

Eating well-

Mama Dragon

Raising Royalty

Just like many grown men are little boys at heart, I believe that many of us ladies are little girls at heart. One of my favorite parts of being a "little girl" is that I still believe in the magic of childhood. Even at 38 years of age, I believe in dragons, fairies, and of course, true love. Fairy tales are not beneath me, as I firmly believe that they hold truth to them: Love conquers all. Each of us has good inside of us. Although we may have to climb mountains and slay dragons (naughty ones, of course), we can find our true love as long as we are willing to give of ourselves to be with them. 

Silly Royals

Having three young men and one little girl in our home, I have done my best to capture the magic of childhood as they are growing up (including having fun together). One principle I have strive to teach them is that they are all royalty. Not only is this true according to our earthly heritage, it is true because each of us are children of God. Since He is the King of All Creation, and we are His children, it stands to reason that we are of Royal Birth. This is not simply a theory that I have been introduced to in my religious beliefs, but it is an idea that I have thought and pondered on, and firmly believe in. If I am a Princess, it is put on my shoulders that I raise my children up as royalty as well. 

My eldest prince is the most studious of my four children. With a focus in mathematics, he is a realist with a dreaming side. For many years, he desired to design and build castles (aka- homes) but now has a focus in using numbers to help solve problems of struggling companies. The kind of math he understands comes from a Divine origin. It is like nothing I have ever seen and truly can be considered a gift from God. Surely, desiring to use your skills to help others is a royal quality. 

My second eldest prince has a passion for all things dragons (he is my kid), robotics, and Asian. He has a knack for picking up cooking and baking without any direction. He was born with an internal understanding of all things power related: batteries, computers, etc. He also has a unique way of seeing the world through the lens of a camera. These interests are leading him to bring beauty and culture to the world. Wanting to improve the world around him would be considered a royal quality. 

Royal children sometimes avoid affection.

My youngest prince has a "superpower" of sorts that can detect the smallest struggle in someone else. He also loves dragons and has a fine eye for detail in his creations, be they on the computer or paper. He loves to use his artistic abilities to brighten the lives of others. Lifting another- truly the quality of royalty. 

My one and only princess is passionate about all things music and art related. Like her mother, she has a passion for fairy tales, magic, and the beautiful world around her. She loves to spend her time outdoors but when she is in inside, she is all about singing, dancing, and drawing. She utilizes her royal qualities by looking for those in pain or sadness and uplifting them with a picture or song. She is a royal Daughter of God. 

When my children want to learn something new, I encourage it. When they do not know how

True Royals

something works, they find out. If they are unable to seek the answers right away, I nudge them to pray for spiritual guidance and ask for angels to attend them on their journey, to be lead to truths. 

Seeking answers, trusting in God, finding truths, combined with their talents are what helps my children discover who they are: Divine Royalty. 

Raising Royalty- 

Mama Dragon

To All Women.... You Make a Difference

This past Saturday, I helped host a tea party for some very special mothers. These are women who have no where else to go with their children. Their circumstances vary, from abusive husbands, kicked out by family, drug abuse, or just plain bad luck. Many have had to literally flee from their homes with absolutely nothing. They are taken into this "shelter" and given the opportunity to get back on their feet again. How they needed to be reminded of how precious they are!

As I was setting up for this fun event, I had several small children wanting to help me decorate. When

Like a daisy, you are beautiful
and carefully created. 

some of the moms walked by, they gently scolded their kids to leave me alone and "don't touch that" as I was placing the delicate tea cups and saucers on the table. I smiled and let the mothers know I would love their help. Oh, so carefully, I showed these children how to be gentle with the tea cups and saucers. The night before, my daughter and I had matched them up and paired them with numbers so the correct cups would be sitting on the corresponding plates when we decorated. I turned each cup and saucer over and showed them how to match them up. These precious children were extra careful as they found the correct matches and excited to be a part of something wonderful for their mothers. 

While we worked, some of them began talking to me about their lives. 

     My daddy is in heaven. I miss him. 

    (Quietly) My mom hits us. (With brother responding not to tell me that.) 

The comments were few and far between but the pain was very real. My first thought was to run to each of them and hug them tight, cry with them, then sit them on my lap and rock them, telling them how much they are loved by God. However, I did not. I whispered "I'm sorry" or just ran my fingers through their hair with compassion, because I do not yet know my place in that environment. 

My next thought was to scold the mother who hurts her children. Abruptly, I stopped myself. Jenny, remember you used to be that mom. You do not know the circumstances. Have compassion. Looking around, I did wonder what pushed that mom to her breaking point. I know what it is like to be there so all I could do was offer up a quick prayer that his mother would be able to find a healthy place in her life so her kids would no longer hurt. 

As we finished the set up, the excitement was mounting. Volunteers were bringing in fun, vibrant cookies and delicious fruit trays. One sweet lady made a beautiful birthday cake for a 3-ear-old who lived there, who otherwise would not have been able to celebrate her birthday. When they received the cake, the mother came to the kitchen and brought her daughter. They wanted the cake baker to know how much they appreciated it. Each of these women were making a difference in the lives of those children. After, many of them let me know they did feel very special and very loved. 

I look to the women who have mothered me in my life and know I would not be the woman I am without them:

~ My own mother who carried me in her womb and raised me in love. She fueled my passion for music and helped me find my song. 

~ My mother by marriage who sometimes I disagree with, but we always find our way back to a positive place. 

~ My many adopted mothers whom I adore and have consistently influenced my life for the better.

To them, I say thank you. Thank you for allowing your light to shine in my own life. Thank you for sharing your experiences so that I can find my own path towards my heavenly home.

To the women in my life who have lost children, are not able to have children, or have not yet had the opportunity to do so, I say this: You make a difference! I see your heartache and struggle. Sometimes, I do not know what to say, because our experiences are different and I am at a loss for words. Know that you are thought of and prayed for. Know that you are a mother when you love my children! I could not raise them without you! When you guide them, direct them, advise them, love them... you are being a mother! You matter! Share your light so that when a child needs someone to confide in that they miss their daddy, you can love on them as if they were your own. 

Treasure with care!

I fully believe that every person matters to God. Like those tea cups, you are treasured and your heart is handled with care by your Creator. I especially believe that each and every woman is meant to be a mother- if not to their own biological child, then any child that they can influence. We need good women to teach, to love, to adore! We need good women to reach out to the lost and conflicted and give them a grounding place so they can find their own way. You do not need to have a child to be a mother... you just have to love one. 

To all women..... you make a difference! 

Keep Smiling, 

Mama Dragon

Mothers

It may be late, but it's still written! 

To my mother who raised me, thank you for helping find my song.
To my mother by marriage, I'm grateful we get along.
To the mothers I have adopted, thank you for all your care.
To the women who influence others, you are mothers just by being there.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! You are loved!!

-Mama Dragon