Living Joyfully

For those that are closest to me, it is no secret that I have been undergoing a transformation of sorts since my heart surgery nearly three years ago; a rebirth of my spirit, so to speak. I have paddled hard as the dark waters have tried to confound me and I have struggled to gasp for air as I have fought, sometimes seemingly in vain, to keep my head above water. There has been a light slowly finding its way through the darkness, and now after sinking, drowning, battling to stay afloat, it seems the light has not only pierced through, but has filled my every soul. It has shined it's way into the broken and fragile being I was and brought love and healing into every crevice of my heart, mending it beyond the medical repairs; allowing it to illuminate something nearly tangible as I begin to embrace the new me.

One aspect of me finding my way to the new me has been that I have not been pursuing my music as much as I used to. I went from writing Christian songs up to four times a week, to writing maybe twice a year. I stopped performing, nearly completely stopped creating, and ultimately, stopped walking a path I knew I was supposed to travel since the age of seven. This has not all been bad, wrong, or neglectful. It has simply been what I needed.

As I have stepped away from music for these past few years, I have embraced motherhood to its fullest, and am learning how to put my own needs first. Note: I did not say wants, but rather needs. It is much like the oxygen mask theory I am sure most of you have heard of by now. Still, it is important to have reminders now and again. When an airplane is going through severe turbulence, or is (heaven forbid) on it's way to something more severe, an oxygen mask drops from the ceiling. In the pre-flight information, the attendants explain that if you are traveling with a child, to place your own mask on before assisting your beloved child. This is so that you will have the tools you need to care for your child. Placing your needs first allows you to have the energy and strength to care for those entrusted to you. This is what I have needed to do, striven to do (albeit not always successfully) and continue to do. Yet, there was something still missing.

In order to find that something, that part of me that was either lost, forgotten, or perhaps not yet discovered or unveiled, I gradually left social media. First blogging, then Facebok and Twitter. Some people might think that this could mean the death of a reputation or business you have built. If that's the case, so be it. For me, it became about taking that last step in recreating who I am. In the past two months, I have: cleaned out my house, purged a great deal of “stuff” (which I was sad about then over time realized how freeing this has been), said goodbye to the dearest of friends, parents, my in-laws, and grandmother-in-law (some of whom I may ever again see in this life), buried a soul sister, stayed up all night talking, hugged my brother after he was imprisoned for 10 years, learned to change the oil in my car, moved 2000 miles across the country, fed bison, had nothing to do (aka: been bored), petted donkeys, visited a hidden Civil War Cemetery, been to the Smoky Mountains, walked to a waterfall, missed playing my piano, stayed off social media, made new friends, lived in a tent, developed an infected and excruciating heat rash, healed my body naturally, moved another few hundred miles, and moved into a new home where we currently have camping chairs for furniture, are eating from our camping dishes, have no dressers, no tv, no internet, are preparing to homeschool another year... and are thriving. I have discovered that what I was missing was already a part of me. I am happy. I am light. I am joyous. I am at peace.

One of the best parts of this journey was today, when I sat down at a piano, and just played. I played songs already written, and created new pieces just for me and God. I talked to Him through my playing and was reminded of a scripture once shared with me.  

"For the Lord God giveth light unto the understanding; for he speaketh unto men according to their language, unto their understanding."

Today, I truly communed with God through our common language: that of music. These past (nearly) three years I have felt more and more withdrawn from God, but did not know why. Now I do. I pushed Him away, Him and the incredible gift He gave me. By not aligning my will with His, I was fighting Him. This music is part of me, and when it is gone, I am no longer myself. Without my gifts, and more importantly without God, I cannot be the incredible Daughter He desires for me to be. It is what bonds us, joins us as Father and Daughter, Love and Light. Without the music – the gifts - He has blessed me with, I am nothing. Without Him I am nothing. So today, because I have opened the door and let them both back into my life full-heartedly, I am me once again.

How incredibly grateful I am to be eternally linked with a husband who supports me and never gives up on me; with children who are truly good souls and cheer each other on; with friends (old and new) who remind me how much God loves me; with an incredible Father in Heaven who has never doubted me, but sent His Son so that I could find myself again.

Thriving Joyfully,
Mama Dragon

Returning to Him

Dear Readers,

I'm back! After some time away from blogging and all forms of social media, I am ready to resume my responsibilities that the Lord has given me and share my voice, in hopes to glorify Him. As challenging as it sometimes is, I am ready to fully embrace all He has asked me to do.

I have committed to be a Guardian of Light. Part of this, the biggest part of it, is to protect the sanctity of families, which includes the sacredness of marriage. Some people believe that love and all that comes with it should be free, open to expression for all to witness. I believe that there are many parts of love that should be kept sacred. What goes on behind close doors is part of that. God created our bodies to feel intimately between man and wife, and there is great beauty and pleasure in that. It also something that should be kept special, sacred, private. Just like there are tender, personal moments that should not be captured on video or photography, there are some experiences that should not be shared with your neighbors, be it your children, virtual acquaintances, or actual neighbors.

Friends, we now live in a world where hardly anything is held special or sacred. Why do we feel this incessant need to share every tiny aspect of our lives? Why can we just not hold them close to our hearts for our own personal memory? The world demands we share all of our personal experiences so they can like, approve, or voice their challenging (and sometime rude or obnoxious) opinions. [This is part of the reason I had left social media for a time and took a step back. I needed to remind myself that I do not need the World's approval for the choices I make, that I only live my life to please my Father in Heaven.] I challenge you to join with me to be a change in the world. I invite you to share your light (Matt. 5:16) so that others may see you and glorify your Father, who is in Heaven. #SharingHisLight #BetheChange

When Mary gave birth to Christ, it was the Shepherds who went and proclaimed to the town of Bethlehem that the Savior was born. As people came and went, visiting them in that humble shelter, it was the Babe's mother who watched, observed, and “kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.” Why did she do this? As a mother who has given birth to four babes of my own, I believe it was because what she experienced, and the joy and love she was witnessing from others, was so special, so incredibly tender, that she chose to not share her feelings with everyone else. She was the literal mother of the Son of God! How do you even begin to describe how that felt? Sometimes, there are no words, so you just take the experience, wrap it up tightly in a bow, and keep it, ponder it, and treasure it in your heart. There is beauty in that. There is virtue in that. There is respect in that.

Let us no longer live up to the world's expectations of sharing all that is tender and personal but live up to God's expectations for us instead. Let us take hold of all that is sacred, and treasure it up in our own hearts, so that it remains the treasure God meant it to be.

Finding joy,

Mama Dragon

Leaving a Legacy

The past few minutes have been spent scrolling through snapshots I took at my uncle's funeral. Some of them will be edited later on to include in my own personal history. As I looked at the faces and gestures of love shared, I began to wonder how I will be remembered when I leave this mortal world. This is not the first I have thought this, as I have survived a failing heart and am now doing well. When someone dies, it is a time for re-evaluating one's life. What will the world say about me? Will anyone remember the contributions I have made? Will I have done anything important to build God's Kingdom on Earth? The pictures I am sharing bring forth these kinds of thoughts of the legacy I know my uncle has left behind, one that I hope to grow from. 

Elder L. Tom Perry was a Marine. At the end of WWII, he was one of the first occupation troops to enter Japan. This picture of them relaxing was taken after the honorable service these young men provided at the graveside. The playing of "Taps" moved many of us to tears. The final salute to my Aunt Barbara took my breath away. 

During the photo sessions, I looked up to see this lovely sight. Look carefully. Each Marine is placing his hand on his neighbor's shoulder, I imagine to signify unity and brotherhood. They offered a moment of silence to this beloved man. It was incredibly moving.

I learned that Alex Boye' is my relative. >wink< When I saw him in the family seating at the funeral services, I expressed gratitude for his support. He told me that my uncle was the one who sealed Alex and his wife in the temple, so that made us all family. This is a photo of my "cousin" and I at the graveside. 

Alex and the Marines had a few joyful minutes together. I am sure Uncle Tom was smiling at the happy memories being made in his honor. 

One sight that touched me at the viewing and the graveside was that of the flowers. Each Church Auxiliary send flowers to the family. How beautiful! 

After the burial, I went to get my car at Temple Square. Two casually dressed gentlemen were facing this flag across the grounds from them. As I passed by, I overheard one saying ".... it was an Elder Perry or something that passed away. Apparently he was a leader of some kind in their church." I paused, turned, and walked over to them. I smiled kindly at them for their curious respects they were paying. I explained I overheard them and I just just come from the funeral of the man they were discussing. Very respectfully, one man asked, "Who was he" to which I replied, "His name was L. Tom Perry and he was my uncle." They explained they were tourists and had inquired to someone why the flags were being flown at half mast. Until then, I had not even noticed. All of the flags on Temple Square were flown at half mast! How lovely! One man asked, "He was a leader in your local church here?" Suppressing a chuckle, I smiled and replied, "Yes, he was an elder, and one of head leaders in this worldwide church and he was a very good man." They offered their condolences, which I accepted, and I left, pausing to take this picture. I absolutely love that Elder Perry's legacy was already reaching people, so quickly after his passing. 

When I leave this frail existence, when I lay this mortal by
Father, Mother, may I meet You in Your royal courts on high?
[Oh My Father, by Eliza R. Snow]

I know that when I leave this frail existence, I hope people know that I had striven to live the best life I could. I want them to know that I loved serving others because it made me happy, and brought me closer to the Savior, not just because it was expected of me. I want my posterity to know that I was grateful for the gifts God blessed me with and I desired to use them for the building of His Kingdom on Earth. Most of all, I hope to be remembered for my testimony of Jesus Christ, that through His Atonement, we can find everlasting peace, that through Him we can be saved, and by His grace, and the covenants we make in the Temple, families CAN be together- forever! How grateful I am to have personally known someone to live an exemplary life! May we all strive to become more like the One perfect man to walk this earth- even Jesus Christ. 

Living a Legacy-
Mama Dragon

Prayers of Love

Yesterday, even before I wrote about my beloved uncle, I had received an outpouring of love from many friends who know of our relationship and heard of his illness. After I posted, I had a breakdown, because I almost could not handle the amount of love that came from all levels of relationships. I know that he feels your prayers and we are all grateful for them. 

Many times in my life I have had people ask "what can I do?" for someone that is in need. Since we are all made in our Father's image, does it seem so foreign that we should want to reach out to others, to lighten their loads, bring them comfort when they are struggling? Reaching out to another should not be a completely new concept. It is instilled with in us when we are created. There have been very few times in my life that I have ever met a truly selfish person. Almost everyone I know wants to lift others. I will share with you the one act of service that I have personal knowledge of saving lives: Prayers.

Prayers are the link between us and heaven. It is how we commune with the angels, and with God. Time and time again I have seen prayers literally pull someone from darkness back into light. I have seen countenances change from anguished to peaceful as they feel the prayers of others carry them through difficulties. When we are praying for someone else, we are serving them, and through service, we are showing them love.

There are many points on the spectrum of peace. It is up to us as individuals to allow ourselves to feel it, regardless of the circumstances. Will you be one who accepts the prayers on your behalf without expecting more, allowing yourself to be a recipient of the peace and blessings that come through those prayers? Or, will you be one who expects more- more time, more energy, more money, more anything from others- because their prayers are not enough to satisfy your hurting soul? 

Sometimes, many times, all we have to offer are prayers. Do not feel bad or guilty over this! Prayers are beautiful, needed, and bring light to this world! Each of us have our own lives to live and often times our own plates are so full we just have nothing else to give. Even Christ came to this point in His life, when He suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane, and finally when He died upon the cross. He had no more to offer the children of the world, but His prayers. Yet, is was because of those prayers and we are redeemed, saved by Him!

Photo courtesy of: lds.org

When we serve another, we are showing them love. At this time, as my family prepares to bid a mortal farewell to our beloved uncle and head of our family, your prayers- your love- are appreciated. Thank you for that. Thank you for your love. May the blessings of heaven fall upon each of you as you reach out to another in need.

Faithfully praying for you-
Mama Dragon

Gateway to Happiness

What makes you happy? How do you find happiness in an ever increasing dark world? The Savior walked and talked with the lowliest of souls. He paid them heed, and they were blessed. I believe service, especially like unto the Savior, is the gateway to happiness.

In the book of Matthew, we read:

35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: 

36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. 

37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? 

38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? 

39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? 

40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

It is an honor to know individuals who have started organizations, or head up service events, that change lives. They come from different backgrounds, and have varying spiritual beliefs. Over the next few weeks, I will highlight their works. These are people who take these scriptures to heart, becoming one with Christ and doing as He would do. They are heroes in my book, changing lives day by day. I look forward to sharing their stories with you.

You do not have to run an organization to to charity work. It is in the small, day-to-day acts that we also find joy. These friends have a visible happiness that comes from serving others. For when we do that, we will experience true charity, which is the pure love of Christ. How can we be anything other than happy when it is in His footsteps we follow.

Living Happiness-
Mama Dragon