Entitled...

For the first time in their lives, I just asked my kids to help pitch in for our family's financial needs. For the most part, our children have always paid their own way. We provide for their needs, they provide for their wants. It is a great honor system we have set in place, following generations of teaching kids the value of hard work. I explained to them that for centuries, families have worked together to sustain their needs. It seems to be only in this last generation that kids have developed a sense of entitlement and think everything should be handed to them. This, I believe, is not a healthy attitude. As we brainstorm ideas on what we can do as a family to earn money together, the sense of entitlement seems to dissipate. 

When I was a kid, we lived in the most humble of circumstances. (We were city dwellers, so I do not have any farm stories.) My dad worked as a brick mason, and had a furniture business (restoring and repairing) as well as a landscaping business on the side. My mother always took in sewing and provided simple but elegant wedding services to people who could not afford glamorous events. As a family, we collected cans and newspapers and recycled them, earning money for that. (I do not think there are still newspaper recycling services that pay money, but scrap metal is a big business.) We also stuffed envelopes, cleaned office buildings, and had kool-aid stands. It was an honor to help provide for our needs and we gained the experience of work. We did not always do it with a good attitude, but for some of us, if it was important to our parents, it was important to us. We were not handed everything, simply because we could not afford it. If we wanted a new bike, we got a pepr route to earn the money. If we wanted money for the concession stand at the pool or baseball field, we mowed lawns or babysat, or did extra chores for our mom. Money was tight, yet we found a way. 

Thankfully, my children area understanding that if they want something of value, they need to work for it. Recently, my 16 year old decided he wanted to purchase a laptop. Through his school program, he was given an allowance to buy one, but that one was losing life after a few years of continual use. Being the computer geek he is, a new laptop would be wonderful. He spent weeks researching his options and finally decided on one that would cost about $500. He sought out employment and landed a job that would allow him to earn enough money so in a matter of three months he could make his purchase. When he was less than $100 from his goal, he found out he did not have to work for the next two weeks. Disappointment only stuck for a moment, as he said aloud, "I am close to my goal. I am going to put it out there that I am looking for babysitting jobs so I can earn the rest of my money and make my purchase." Two hours later, he had a few babysitting jobs lined up for that week- paying enough to meet his goal. He loves his new treasure and takes great care of the object he worked so hard to earn. 

from lds.org

What if we want a new (to us) item and cannot afford it? Sometimes, we learn the hard way and borrow money to make the purchase. As often as I can, I encourage my children to not go this route. Borrowing often gets people into financial trouble. Work for it! Save for it! Or.... do without it! You will be happier and have a better peace of mind if you are focusing your efforts on meeting your goals rather than keeping up with what the next-door neighbors are doing. 

We work hard to teach our kids that are entitled- as long as they do the work and earn the money. How grateful I am for the heritage I am a part of, one that has taught me the value of hard work! How grateful I am to have the honor to righteously teach my children to work hard to meet their goals. Working as a family entitles us peace and joy that the world does not have to offer. 

Working hard-

Mama Dragon

Balancing Act

Do you remember as a kid, you would stand on one foot and try to hop without falling over? Do you recall using the cracks on the sidewalk and pretend it was a tight rope? These acts of balancing were symbolic for what was to come in our adult lives: finding balance. 

On a regular basis, I get asked "How do you do it all?" This is in regards to homeschooling, canning, writing music, serving my neighbor.... etc. Here are a few things that those in front of the scene do not realize is going on behind the scenes... I don't. Just like our invisible tight ropes, life is a balancing act. Each of us has to find our point of balance and it will never be the same as another's. 

When my husband and I were newlyweds, we decided that for the time being, I would work outside the home. Eventually, we wanted me to be home with our children. I worked up until my 6th month of pregnancy with our first baby, which was miraculous in itself, because of so many complications. When he was a couple of months old, we decided I was going to return to work for the time being, to lighten my husband's load. He was in school full time, working a full and part time job, and not getting more than a wink of sleep each night. In me returning to work, he was able to decrease his load somewhat when he left one of his jobs. I was blessed in finding a job that allowed me to take my baby with me. 

When Eldest reached about 6 months old, I remember hearing one of my church leaders speak about motherhood in our semi-annual church conference. He explained that God's desire for families was to have mothers be the nurturers of the home, and if she was able, the mother should be home with the children. We took that seriously and after consulting the Lord in prayer, I left my job and came home- permanently. 

Eldest is now preparing to graduate from high school in a few weeks and I have been blessed to be a stay-at-home-mom these 17 years to our four children. It has not been easy financially, nor always emotionally, but it has been worth it. 

My balancing act comes in the form of being a SAHM. I do not "do it all" but as a SAHM, part of my responsibilities are to help us be financially frugal (I do not clip coupons, just FYI), see that my children are getting a proper education (two kids are homeschooled, two are in public school), and raise them up in righteousness (I'm a Mama Dragon). I write music when the Lord inspires me to but it is currently not my full-time occupation. (The past two years, I have hardly touched music because I went through a health crisis and my family also needed me to focus on them.) Why wouldn't I do all of these things? They are part of who I am, and who I care to be. I do not let any one area rule my entire time so in them, I am able to find balance. 

Jamie Squire/Getty Images

When we are following our own path, finding our own balance, there are no absolute rules. In my church, there are guidelines, but things can be adjusted to individual needs. Each of us has multiple responsibilities- be it family, job, church, community service opportunities, etc. We each do what we need to do in order to find balance. The key is to not let any one area take over our entire existence. The key is to stay upright so that we do not fall. 

When a gymnast trains, they do not learn only the balance beam, or only the parallel bars, or only the rings. they learn each area of the gym. As they train, they may find they are stronger on one event than another, but they still remain a sense of balance so they can perform in each area.  That is how we should balance our lives! 

Make a list of all the areas you have a responsibility: home (meal planning, cleaning, helping with homework), work outside the home, church and community, hobbies. Then, prioritize your list. In my life, it is God, Family (including time for myself), Church, everything else (which changes according to seasons of my life). Take some time to really think through these areas and create your own gymnastics routine. One key to this is learning it is absolutely alright to say NO! This took me a very long time to figure out, but when I mastered it, my life became bearable, and breathable. Perhaps you need to cut out social media time in order to plan menus. Maybe you need to give a little more responsibilities to your growing children in order to have time to play the piano once in a while. Instead of being PTA president, maybe you can just be a member! I cannot do it all! I don't do it all! I have to honor the no's in order to make room for the yes's. 

When I am on the balance beam (figuratively), I cannot do rings, vault, or unevens. I can, however, adjust my time at the gym in order to accommodate all the areas I do need to practice and have a successful dismount in the end. Life is a balancing act. Adjust your routine as needed, for when you find balance, you find peace. 

Balancing the world- 

Mama Dragon

Gateway to Happiness

What makes you happy? How do you find happiness in an ever increasing dark world? The Savior walked and talked with the lowliest of souls. He paid them heed, and they were blessed. I believe service, especially like unto the Savior, is the gateway to happiness.

In the book of Matthew, we read:

35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: 

36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. 

37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? 

38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? 

39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? 

40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

It is an honor to know individuals who have started organizations, or head up service events, that change lives. They come from different backgrounds, and have varying spiritual beliefs. Over the next few weeks, I will highlight their works. These are people who take these scriptures to heart, becoming one with Christ and doing as He would do. They are heroes in my book, changing lives day by day. I look forward to sharing their stories with you.

You do not have to run an organization to to charity work. It is in the small, day-to-day acts that we also find joy. These friends have a visible happiness that comes from serving others. For when we do that, we will experience true charity, which is the pure love of Christ. How can we be anything other than happy when it is in His footsteps we follow.

Living Happiness-
Mama Dragon