Task Keepers and College Seekers

At beginning this school year, I had realized how much I was flying by the seat of my pants in all areas of life, and that was not working for me. I am a scheduler, a list keeper. I once had a college professor tell us that if you are a list keeper, it is a sign of being a control freak... and acted as if it was very wrong to keep them. It was not the first nor last time I disagreed with that professor. Thankfully, we parted on a good note. It was definitely not in my plan to have my current schedule as it is, and now I have been feeling the prompting to make sure I get blogging back into that mix, so here I go... again... still... not giving up. 

On a recent Monday afternoon (Sept. 12) my husband and I went for a drive through the beautiful rolling hills of Knoxville. We talked of the goals we've had set for our entire marriage, all 20 years, that we had not yet accomplished, and how we still desired to do them. It was agreed upon that we would continue to pursue them, and planned out how to do just that. One of my goals I shared with him was that of going back to school to get my degree in marriage and family relations. I have always had a desire to help heal families and the Holy Spirit had been pressing on my mind this was the time to do that. As always, my sweetheart enthusiastically supported me, because he knew the importance of it to me. We created a timeline and knew within a year I would be a college student for the first time in over 20 years. 

The next morning, I had an unexpected visitor. A friend of mine, who also happens to be the president of our church women's organization, stopped by. She had her darling infant in her arms, explaining they were driving past and her daughter was screaming, struggling to be content on their car ride. Still 10 minutes from home, she pulled over to nurse her. As she was preparing to leave, she realized she was in front of my home and felt impressed to drop in and say hello. There was no official church business to conduct, just a hello. As we sat and talked, I shared with her my excitement to return to school. Celebrating with me, she encouraged me to begin immediately. I saw two problems: classes had already begun (the day before) so I missed the deadline to register, and I did not have the funds to pay for the program I wanted to get into. She told me what she knew about it and said she would talk to our congregational leader to get more information.

Less than 24 hours later I received a text from this friend. She had talked to those in our area over the program I wanted to get into. They said I could go ahead and register, but would be put on a waiting list. If I could not get in right away, then it could be another year before I would be accepted. I followed the instructions I was given to get registered, then panicked! 

Father, what in the world is happening? I am not ready for this! I just decided that I am going back to school! I have a plan! I am still unpacking! I need to get more boxes unpacked, freezer meals made, and my kids settled in a routine! It's TOO SOON!! 

Yes, this was my freak-out prayer. I then took a few minutes to gather my thoughts and prayed some more. Ok, Father, I am going to call the school and talk to them about financing. If I can get financing worked out, I will know I am to start now. If finances do not work out, I will know my plan to wait a little while longer is what I need to do. 

I called. 

Finances worked out. 

I finished registering.... and waited. 

Checking my emails, I learned that I would find out within five days if I made it from the standby list to the actual class. Two hours later, I got an email saying, "CONGRATULATIONS! You have been accepted..."

I was a college student!!! Right then! As in immediately! And I rejoiced... and wept. A life-long goal was about to come true. 

[To recap: Monday afternoon I said I wanted to go back to school. Wednesday afternoon I was a student. Heavenly Father showed His sense of humor when I realized He had allowed me to get my plan in place during that two days; I had two freezer meals made and two boxes unpacked.]

Then, the emails came pouring in. I was two days behind! I had homework immediately and struggled to not feel overwhelmed. Thankfully, except for one in-person meeting a week, all my classes are online, so I could cry and pray and cry some more in the privacy of my own room. 

Now, I am a college student. I have attended two classes in person. I have assignments I work on nearly everyday. I am still homeschooling my children. I still plan menus, cook 3 meals a day, do canning when I find deals on food to can.... and I am thriving! (Ok, except for that one other freak-out yesterday...) More than anything, I absolutely have to be a task keeper now! Lists and schedules are the key to my success in staying on task and still being able to function. A super supportive family is my secret to doing all of this and being happy through it all. 

Being a list master does not mean I am a control freak. It means I desire to have an organized life so all involved thrive. It is one way to be a Guardian of Light. For this, I am grateful, and I will continue to rejoice in my journey. 

Loving to learn-
Mama Dragon

An Amazing World of Learning

To My Fellow Homeschool Parents: 

We are going into our 7^th year of homeschool. It has been a roller coaster of emotions as we have been on a learning journey every step of the way. I feel as if I finally understand something of utmost importance that I am compelled to share with you.

First, let me explain our process of choosing education among our children. Every year has been different in our family. Some years, we have all the kids at home. Other years, we've had two homeschooling, one doing online classes, and one in public school. Another year we had three in public school and one at home. It has varied because as our children have grown, their needs have varied as well. One thing I cannot get past, though, is that as a stay at home mom, I have needed to be available to teach whatever child has needed to be at home that year. Sometimes, the need has stemmed from us moving to a new state, or because the pressure of keeping up with public school curriculum and regimen was just too daunting. As the needs have varied greatly, so have our lessons, schedules, and methods. We have even homeschooled through me having heart surgery and recovering from that. It was not easy, but it was necessary.

This year, two of our children felt strongly it was time to return to public school. Always encouraging my children to take the lead in their education, we reviewed a list of pros and cons, the “why” of their decision, and the requirements to attend in our new state. (We move to Tennessee this summer!) After much prayer, research, and discussion, the choice was made for them both to return and we all felt peaceful about it. When I went to look up one last piece of information, I learned there were some conflicts in what was required of our children by the school district. Gathering all of the info that was needed, I gathered my children together and we had a very involved discussion. When all was said and done, they could not go against their personal standards and they chose to be homeschooled once again. It was a decision made after a lot of heartache and tears, but in the end, we all knew it was the right decision. They held fast to their principles, and I could not be more proud of them for doing so.

Now it is time to get to work and for the first time in all of our years of home educating our children, I do not have my supplies or books to teach them, for everything is still in storage. As I have deeply pondered and prayed about how best to teach three children of varying ages and levels, I finally realized something I needed to change. For all of these years, I had only considered the needs of my children. As I prayed about going into this school year, I felt something different: it is time to consider my own needs as well. This year, we are changing up our schedule to how I know I can best teach. We are encouraging our children to take the lead in what they are studying instead of me planning it all. We are now working together on the needs of all of us, rather than that of just the children. It is a change that has brought sweet calmness and peace to this mama's heart.

Do not think learning has to to always be the same year after year. Let me share a few changes we are making. 

Take more field trips! We are now living in the middle of the Civil Ward battlefields, so we will be taking regular field trips to learn part of our nation's history. There is always somewhere to go, and many times for free. Ask around! (The library often has postings, as well as the city websites.)

Allow the Children to teach! My two teen boys chose what Social Studies subjects they want to learn about, and they will be teaching the rest of us what they learn. This will allow them to share what they are passionate about, all while learning how to do public speaking!

Use living books! We have always utilized the libraries, but this year, I will encourage more living books instead of using text books.

One more thing. If you are not able to homeschool, but would like to be more involved with your child's education, I highly suggest this well-written essay on the understanding Education in America. It is as if the author (who is a fellow musician acquaintance I highly respect) went into my brain, pulled out everything I wanted to share, and wrote it up for me. Whether or not you homeschool, public school, or private school your children, it is well worth the read.

Please share your favorite homeschooling tips with us! Perhaps you will be the answer to someone else's need!

Learning Daily,

Mama Dragon

To School or Not to School?

When we began our homeschool journey in 2009, it was out of necessity. (Until that point all my kids had been in public school- PS). Without getting into details of our then-circumstances (at least not yet), know that it was a time of survival of our family, literally. It has been a learning to curve over the years as we have tried all forms of education for our 4 children including: unchooling, homeschooling-like-public-school, public school, charter, online charter, online public school. (I am sure I am leaving one out.) On a regular basis, I have had parents ask me how we decide where/how our children will be educated. I have decided to share our little secret to successfully educating our children: A LOT of research and a LOT of prayer.

[Each year, we take into consideration each of our individual child's needs. Then, we pray with them and individually to ask the Lord to guide us in our decisions. Since I am the educator in our home, I will spend time in fasting and prayer to confirm the feelings I have about each child. Sometimes, I research new schools, or online schools. Other times it is a matter of checking into new curriculum or revamping the old. Then, we begin our journey for the new year. No year is ever the same.]

In the beginning of our journey, we kept all four kids home. At the time, they were (respectively) 1st, 4th, 6th grades and a toddler. We made it through what schools refer to as the "second semester" by spending countless hours at the library and local parks. For a little while, we had a job where the kids could work with us during school hours. This was our time of "unschooling". By fall, my husband had to go work out of state for 6 months, we were dealing with a dangerous stalker, and I was deathly ill with un-diagnosed heart problems. I decided to keep all of them home again, but mostly out of fear for our family. I wanted them safe! We plunged into online PS. That barely lasted until Christmas, as it was WAY too much stress on this sickly mama and my gifted boys were rather bored. By the time January came around, I saw my eldest especially needed something different. I prayed long and hard about the direction my children's futures were headed. That is when I realized I may not all be able to have them do the same thing year after year.

Eldest and Second Eldest were enrolled in a brand-new charter school. After three weeks, they were pulled out. Although I can only speak for our specific reasons, I know that many other parents were struggling with the school as well. For my own children, one teacher used very inappropriate language on a regular basis that made him very uncomfortable, and the other one could not take the pressure of the courses. Eldest and I discussed his options and we decided to enroll him for the remainder of the year in PS. There, he found his niche in band and math, and made life-long friends within a very short time. He has been in PS ever since, and this month will graduate high school with a 3.98+ GPA and several college courses under his belt. He has had truly incredible teachers to mentor him and I am grateful for the experiences he has had.

Second Eldest came home for the rest of that school year and did well. He loved to read, so we used that to his advantage. In the fall, (6th grade) we decided to enroll him in PS because he wanted to give it a try. He attended for one semester then came home. After all our family had been through with my health and our other challenges, he needed to feel certain in his home-life situation, so I became his teacher. We made up our own curriculum. In 8th grade, he returned to PS and did very well. With 9th grade approaching, we moved to a new state and I faced heart surgery. Together, we chose to try an online charter school and he did really well. The current school year, he is in the same program, but not reaching his full potential, so we are re-evaluating for fall. Research, prayer, and discussion with confirm the upcoming path.

When we began the online school, my youngest boy really struggled. By the middle of second semester, he was having melt-downs everyday. Because of my health, I was not able to find a way to help him as much as he needed. He returned to PS and by Day 2, serious problems arose. It was in those next 6 weeks that we began to undergo testing and came away with a diagnoses of Asperger's (aka- Awesomeberger's) and ADHD. With a plan in place to get him the assistance he needed from the school specialists, we decided to allow him to return to PS in the fall. Unfortunately, the new principal did not take the IEP seriously and he was not able to get what was needed. One day while sobbing in my arms, I asked my brand new 3rd grader what I could do to help him. He begged me, "Please don't send me back! Never send me back!" So, we never did. Now 13, he has been home ever since and will remain for the time being. It is at home where he thrives the most. I am his mother as well as his teacher and being able to focus on his needs has been a tremendous blessing.

My youngest started out in kindergarten after I ignored serious promptings to keep her home. I knew between my health and my upcoming work schedule I would not be able to give the time to her that she needed. Everyday was a challenge to get her out the door. She wanted to be home. One week after spring break, I pulled her out. She was getting failing grades for being able to read. I was told by her teacher, "The new Common Core Curriculum dictates that this is a sound-aloud assignment and she is reading the words instead of sounding them out. I cannot give her a passing grade for that." This ridiculous guideline she was forced to follow was only one of the issues I had with the curriculum after that meeting. She came home the rest of her kinder year and first grade. Using our own guidelines of discussion, fasting, and prayer, she returned to PS for 2nd grade, which she finishes this month. Fall will bring her home again.

Over the years, I have battled with others as they've disagreed with our decision to HS. There are all kinds of myths (which I will write about later, based of our findings) that I find are incorrect. I have nothing but complete respect and admiration for the PS teachers. I was going to be one! Just because PS school may seem the "easiest" road, it does not mean it is always right. For me, sending my children out the door for 8 hours a day doesn't sit right with me. On the other hand, always having children at home with me has hard moments as well. The truth is, it takes a lot of time to homeschool. It takes willingness and dedication. You are going to have amazing days, and difficult days. You are going to have days you want to quit and days you feel like you can conquer the world. If it is what is right for your child, no sacrifice is more worth it to see them succeed. (Each state is different in their HS laws, so be sure to check those.) Whatever you decide with the education journey, study out your options. If you are a religious soul, pray for guidance in your choices. Not every family will have the same experience. Respect whatever they decide for their own children. (That was a hard lesson I had to learn.) Education can be a complex road, but as long as you are doing what is best for your family, it is a worthwhile one!!

Happily Teaching-
Mama Dragon

My Homeschool Pinterest Page

Balancing Act

Do you remember as a kid, you would stand on one foot and try to hop without falling over? Do you recall using the cracks on the sidewalk and pretend it was a tight rope? These acts of balancing were symbolic for what was to come in our adult lives: finding balance. 

On a regular basis, I get asked "How do you do it all?" This is in regards to homeschooling, canning, writing music, serving my neighbor.... etc. Here are a few things that those in front of the scene do not realize is going on behind the scenes... I don't. Just like our invisible tight ropes, life is a balancing act. Each of us has to find our point of balance and it will never be the same as another's. 

When my husband and I were newlyweds, we decided that for the time being, I would work outside the home. Eventually, we wanted me to be home with our children. I worked up until my 6th month of pregnancy with our first baby, which was miraculous in itself, because of so many complications. When he was a couple of months old, we decided I was going to return to work for the time being, to lighten my husband's load. He was in school full time, working a full and part time job, and not getting more than a wink of sleep each night. In me returning to work, he was able to decrease his load somewhat when he left one of his jobs. I was blessed in finding a job that allowed me to take my baby with me. 

When Eldest reached about 6 months old, I remember hearing one of my church leaders speak about motherhood in our semi-annual church conference. He explained that God's desire for families was to have mothers be the nurturers of the home, and if she was able, the mother should be home with the children. We took that seriously and after consulting the Lord in prayer, I left my job and came home- permanently. 

Eldest is now preparing to graduate from high school in a few weeks and I have been blessed to be a stay-at-home-mom these 17 years to our four children. It has not been easy financially, nor always emotionally, but it has been worth it. 

My balancing act comes in the form of being a SAHM. I do not "do it all" but as a SAHM, part of my responsibilities are to help us be financially frugal (I do not clip coupons, just FYI), see that my children are getting a proper education (two kids are homeschooled, two are in public school), and raise them up in righteousness (I'm a Mama Dragon). I write music when the Lord inspires me to but it is currently not my full-time occupation. (The past two years, I have hardly touched music because I went through a health crisis and my family also needed me to focus on them.) Why wouldn't I do all of these things? They are part of who I am, and who I care to be. I do not let any one area rule my entire time so in them, I am able to find balance. 

Jamie Squire/Getty Images

When we are following our own path, finding our own balance, there are no absolute rules. In my church, there are guidelines, but things can be adjusted to individual needs. Each of us has multiple responsibilities- be it family, job, church, community service opportunities, etc. We each do what we need to do in order to find balance. The key is to not let any one area take over our entire existence. The key is to stay upright so that we do not fall. 

When a gymnast trains, they do not learn only the balance beam, or only the parallel bars, or only the rings. they learn each area of the gym. As they train, they may find they are stronger on one event than another, but they still remain a sense of balance so they can perform in each area.  That is how we should balance our lives! 

Make a list of all the areas you have a responsibility: home (meal planning, cleaning, helping with homework), work outside the home, church and community, hobbies. Then, prioritize your list. In my life, it is God, Family (including time for myself), Church, everything else (which changes according to seasons of my life). Take some time to really think through these areas and create your own gymnastics routine. One key to this is learning it is absolutely alright to say NO! This took me a very long time to figure out, but when I mastered it, my life became bearable, and breathable. Perhaps you need to cut out social media time in order to plan menus. Maybe you need to give a little more responsibilities to your growing children in order to have time to play the piano once in a while. Instead of being PTA president, maybe you can just be a member! I cannot do it all! I don't do it all! I have to honor the no's in order to make room for the yes's. 

When I am on the balance beam (figuratively), I cannot do rings, vault, or unevens. I can, however, adjust my time at the gym in order to accommodate all the areas I do need to practice and have a successful dismount in the end. Life is a balancing act. Adjust your routine as needed, for when you find balance, you find peace. 

Balancing the world- 

Mama Dragon